Rethinking Jewish = Spirituality

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<= /TD>	Rethinking Jewish Spirituality
The Uses and Limits of Spiritual = States
by Jay = Michaelson, May=20 20, 2009 2=20 comments

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Jay = Michaelson=20

Jewish spirituality is, in large part, in the state-change = business. At=20 the better synagogues-i.e., the ones which actually care about prayer or = spirituality or at the very least a good community feeling-you show up = thinking=20 about mortgages and to-do lists, in the middle you're feeling a holy = presence,=20 and afterward you feel refreshed and re-energized. This is what=20 state-change is: moving your mind from one way of being to = another. And we=20 Jews, like all religious groups, have developed a wonderful array of = tools to=20 enable it to happen.

For most people-indeed, I'd say for about = 95% of=20 people-state change is what it's all about. As I'll describe in a = moment,=20 spiritual states have the power to open the mind, nourish the heart, and = change=20 the world. They are, I think, the most important force for social = and=20 environmental sustainability on the planet. And they can be lots = of fun,=20 too.

But, states can also become dead-ends, or = misconstrued, or=20 actually dangerous. For every one hippie becoming one with the = universe,=20 there are five fundamentalists ossifying their experience into dogmas of = hate=20 and ethnocentrism. So, do the costs outweigh the benefits? = Is there=20 a way to get the good stuff without the bad? And what lies beyond=20 spiritual states for those of us experienced enough in the spiritual = path to=20 have grown weary of them? Let's take a look.

3D""=20 1.The Benefits of (Temporary) = Transformation

The=20 first value of spiritual states is what might be called their "negative" = capacity: you get to see that you are not your "box" of identity, = predilections,=20 and mind.   You get a break from being you, and that is really = important. This you can experience easily. Go to a drum = circle. Let=20 go totally, get into the rhythm. Forget yourself, like hopefully = you do=20 during sex. Lo and behold! Mind, ego, and all the rest of = your=20 personality finally shuts up-and look, you can experience life = just fine=20 without it! Maybe even better, and more alive! So, states = are really=20 useful, if only for that. Many people never do it, and as I = described in=20 an earlier Zeek = article, I=20 think that's part of why so many people seem locked into traditional = values,=20 conformity, and narrow thinking.

States also have a "positive"=20 capacity. There's something important about those experiences when = the=20 walls of self are lowered. Drum circle ecstasy isn't just = Not-Usual-Me;=20 there's a glimpse of an oceanic oneness beyond ego, a melting into the = Goddess=20 that is deeply profound and important. This is some of what = Gilbert and I=20 experienced on our first retreats: a dissolving into the One, a glimpse = of the=20 numinous. At least as an experience, holiness is real. All = those=20 spiritual weirdos-they're not nuts. I don't know what = they're=20 experiencing (more on that in a minute), but there is an experience, and = that=20 experience is really valuable. And if it gets mixed in with a = notion of=20 Shechinah or deities or spirits or whatever, these are useful concepts, = even if=20 they are only concepts.

Third, mystical states have a = tendency to=20 shift one's priorities, in useful ways. You experience this joy = and bliss=20 and compassion, and you get a little less obsessed with competition, = career, and=20 materialism. At least for a while. These states, transient = as they=20 are, yield a deeper, wider perspective on life's "stuff." Would we = really=20 have as many angry people, hunters, sexual predators, stressed out = neurotic=20 nuts, or conservatives if everyone underwent a real state change every = Friday=20 night? I don't think so. It wouldn't save the world, but it = would=20 help if we were all a little more calm, and more infused with a joy that = doesn't=20 depend on consumption.

More specifically, genuine spiritual = states=20 invariably lead to compassion. I don't know why that is; it's kind = of a=20 miracle. And that compassion leads to all kinds of good things: = less=20 selfishness, more justice, less greed, more generosity, less hate, more=20 love. I can hear my social-justice-obsessed editor clucking her = tongue at=20 spiritual narcissism, so let me emphatically state that, in my view, = nothing=20 would be better for the global pursuit of social justice than for more = and more=20 people to meditate and cultivate compassion on a personal level = first. As=20 I suggested last month, there is just no convincing a conservative that = it's=20 worth caring about some unfortunate marginalized person. They have = to feel=20 it themselves, and that takes changing the heart-and that takes = spiritual=20 practice. I don't see any other way if what we're after is = durable,=20 systemic change rather than fighting about the cause of the=20 moment.

Finally, states lead to lasting insight. First,=20 experiencing spiritual "highs" can provide a little more perspective on, = and a=20 little less thirst for, highs of other kinds, like sex, spirituality, = drugs,=20 love, music, food, travel, and other experiences. Again, I've had = a very=20 rich and wonderful life filled with all of those, but as anyone can tell = you,=20 chasing kicks forever is both puerile, and a little addictive. = Mystical=20 states can provide some of that joy and ecstasy without the side-effects = and=20 without all the clinging. Last month, you may recall, I described = some of=20 my own strongest spiritual experiences ("A Jewish Perspective on = the=20 Jhanas". They were so intense that afterward, I would = sometimes=20 feel like, this is it, okay? I have gotten higher than I ever = thought it=20 was possible to get. Okay. Whew, that was great. I'll = do it=20 again. Okay. Now I'll do it fifty times over a two month=20 retreat. Okay. Now I'm even tired of it. So what's = next? =20 What lies beyond "kicks," even the most sublime ones? This is very = useful:=20 good spiritual highs lead to a better relationship to highs in=20 general.

3D""=20 In fact, states lead to insights of all kinds. = Again=20 drawing on my recent experience, coming out of jhana, insights into = dharma,=20 Torah, and Jay's messy life popped like popcorn. One time, the = "wisdom=20 light" in the third and fourth jhanas healed me of grief over a broken=20 relationship which I'd been carrying around for six months. = Honest-it's=20 much later now, and the anger and heartbreak is gone, replaced only by a = reflective, wistful sadness that feels sweet and appropriate. = Other times,=20 I would exit jhana and instantly see the radical impermanence of all = sensations:=20 here one moment, gone the next. I could poke through any wall of=20 loneliness, anger, or greed. These insights do last, even though = the=20 blissful or content or equanimous states which produced them do = not.

So,=20 states heal us, they re-orient us, they motivate us, and they teach = us. =20 What could be bad?

2. The Limits of Spiritual = States

In=20 fact, the limitations of spiritual states are as perhaps as important as = their=20 strengths.

First, what really matters-God, the = Unconditioned,=20 Emptiness, Nirvana, call it what you will-is not the state, the bliss, = the=20 light, et cetera. Let me repeat briefly from last month that = there's a=20 tendency that all of us have-but particularly spiritual Jews have-to = deify and=20 thus idol-ize certain states. Oh, that gorgeous warmth of lighting = candles. Oh, we were so high during that drum circle / Kabbalat = Shabbat /=20 whatever, that was really mamash it. But that's not=20 it. It is what's always here; Ein Sof, = everything. If=20 it wasn't always here, it isn't it. Real devekut has = only=20 one attachment: Is. Totally colorless, totally omnipresent, and in = fact,=20 if you look closely, the only thing that doesn't come and go. = There is no=20 state that is it. This is it; just this. Not feeling = special=20 about this, not feeling relaxed or wise or anything in = particular-although=20 sometimes those feelings may arise in the wake of letting go. Just=20 is.

In fact, mistaking a state for It is = idolatrous,=20 and the gateway to fundamentalism. The reason is "fetishizing the=20 trigger," which I wrote about a few years ago. Fetishizing the = trigger=20 happens when we find a trigger to amazing mystical states, and then = mistake the=20 trigger for the state, the finger pointing at the moon for the moon=20 itself. This is the root of fundamentalism: this ritual is holy, = that one=20 is not; this religion is right, that one is not. And it's the root = of the=20 "right-wing hippie" phenomenon in Israel, in which well-meaning = neo-Hasidic=20 types get really seriously high off of the holiness of the Land of = Israel, and=20 end up hating Arabs and being incredibly ethnocentric. States are=20 powerful, and that means they can be dangerous.

3D""=20 Even when they're not dangerous, states can lead to a = whole=20 huge pile of suffering when the conditioned state passes and you're left = wondering what the hell went wrong. Believe me, I've spent many = months in=20 just that sense of bewilderment. The answer is actually pretty = simple: I=20 mistook something conditioned for the unconditioned. You just = can't relive=20 those peak experiences after awhile. I've tried. I've tried=20 really hard. It just leads to suffering. The only = thing you=20 can do, over and over again, is let go. Let go of = everything. Every=20 desire, every identification, every place your ego is hiding out and = saying "I'm=20 this." Let go, let go, let go, and keep on falling-because there = ain't no=20 place to land. Yet this falling, I am here to tell you, is the = same as=20 flight.

It is also bad, bad news to get addicted to bliss states, = as many=20 people do. It's a spiritual dead end, a kind of masturbatory = spirituality=20 that's basically not so different from being addicted to drugs. = You get=20 high, you get withdrawal, you get high, you get withdrawal.   = It's=20 kind of tragic, since as I just mentioned one of the many benefits of = spiritual=20 highs is that they tend to reduce clinging to getting high. But = sometimes=20 it doesn't work that way, and one addiction is simply substituted for=20 another. I've met a lot of "spiritual" people who really are just = looking=20 for their next fix, and it's sad. It is also irresponsible, = imbalanced,=20 and even if its less severe forms, can actually increase selfishness-as = in,=20 "stop bothering me with your needs! I'm trying to have a bliss=20 state!"

Now, again, some perspective. I was told on = one of=20 my first retreats that concentrated mindstates can become = narcotic. I=20 understood, but I wanted them anyway-and I don't regret it. Those = four or=20 five years of concentration brought on all kinds of insight, compassion, = and the=20 other benefits from above. They were also freaking amazingly = awesome and=20 beautiful. (See "Meditation and Sensuality") So, if you're = just=20 starting out: cultivate states! Just try not to get too = attached to=20 them, or think they're something they're not. Love, learn, and let = go.

But for those of us who have eaten the apple, tasted the = forbidden=20 fruit, and been transformed by it-is there anything beyond? Are we = just to=20 go on loving and letting go? Or is there something beyond the = holiest of=20 spiritual states?

3.What's Beyond States?

There = is-but let=20 me take a short detour first to reiterate why for the vast majority of = people,=20 states are still the way to go. Really, where the work of = spiritual=20 teaching and the work of social justice actually intersect is not in the = more=20 esoteric or refined realms, but in what you could call the "retail = business" of=20 spirituality: bringing spiritual change to more and more people, usually = in=20 somewhat gross ways. Ultimately, while I personally am interested = in the=20 further stages of the spiritual path, and try to write about them in = this=20 magazine, as someone concerned about the fate of our planet, I am = actually more=20 interested in the initial stages. I believe that spirituality can = bring=20 more and more people over to the good side of the fence-the side with = more=20 concern about equality and justice, more respect for the environment, = and more=20 pluralism on global and local levels. And I think spirituality can = make=20 people less racist, violent, overly conservative, greedy, and = materialistic. But=20 to do that, spiritual teachers need to interact with the not-so-good = side of the=20 fence, and cheapen what they are doing in order to reach more=20 people.

Eckhart Tolle, after the huge success of The Power of = Now,=20 took a year of silent retreat to discern what should be his next = step-not as a=20 matter of a career, but as one of mission. What he did next was = not unveil=20 the next stage of the path, what lies beyond "now," but rather adjust = the way he=20 was teaching, simplify it, and, in a way, translate it into more coarse=20 terms. The result was A New Earth, worldwide success, and, = through=20 Oprah, the largest audience a spiritual teacher has received since = perhaps=20 Deepak Chopra. (Chopra himself is an educated, enlightened=20 nondualist. His teaching is often quite coarse in = presentation-live=20 forever, never age, etc.-but I think he's really trying to reach the = most people=20 with the most light.)

So, to rethink Jewish spirituality does not = mean to=20 junk its reliance on spiritual states, because for most Jews, like most = people,=20 states are still what is necessary. We still need to promise that = you'll=20 feel good, and deliver the goods. And let's remember that the = majority of=20 synagogues in America can't do even that; they don't even know there are = goods=20 to deliver, or that there might be goods other than coming together as a = community, celebrating our religion, and repeating half-believed notions = about=20 God or commandments. For most people, the first step is still yet = to be=20 taken.

But if you've read this far, I'm guessing you're not one = of those=20 people. I'm guessing that you've had powerful spiritual = experiences, and=20 that, like me, you've struggled with what to do next: how to integrate = them, or=20 have more of them, or perhaps move from "state to stage," in Ken = Wilber's=20 terms. This is the real goal, right? Not to go off on = retreat and=20 feel close to God but shiviti adonai l'negdi tamid-to set YHVH = ("Is" /=20 Being) before you always. So for you, what's the next step? = I'm=20 still very much on this path myself, but here's what I've learned so=20 far.

3D""=20 First, states must be refined and made increasingly = subtle, so=20 much so that they approach omnipresence. The jhanas, which I wrote = about=20 previously, are = instructive=20 in this regard. The first jhana is pretty over-the-top, filled = with=20 intense rapture. Then that gets too coarse, and the second jhana = takes=20 over, with pleasure and delight and amazing, shimmering light, but = without some=20 of the intense concentrated effort. Eventually even that gets = coarse, and=20 the mind moves to the third jhana, with pleasure and bliss, but not = rapture and=20 amazement. And eventually, even the love and bliss of the third = jhana gets=20 a bit coarse, and the mind moves into the fourth jhana, which is = equanimous,=20 transparent, and so subtle it's barely there.

The first jhana's=20 coarseness is its strength: without that brute force, it's very hard to = get=20 "in." As I write this now, transitioning out of retreat, the = fourth jhana=20 has become difficult to sustain-it's just very subtle. Likewise = with all=20 spiritual states. At first, we need to get our socks knocked off: = some=20 amazing, wild ecstatic prayer service, or an upwelling of love so = beautiful it=20 makes us cry. As we progress, however, what I've found is that the = states=20 become more subtle-and thus approach ordinary life more and more. = The=20 title of Jack Kornfield's book After the Ecstasy the Laundry is = apt, and=20 the book deals frankly with some of the painful hangover-periods that = inevitably=20 come after ecstatic highs. But the ultimate point is for the = laundry=20 itself to be holy, to be good.

That does not mean that the = laundry=20 provides ecstasy. Rather, it means that by refining spiritual = states, you=20 don't need ecstasy to feel connected anymore. I remember after my = first=20 few retreats, I would try to re-experience the joy or devekut I = felt on=20 retreat. For a while, it would work, but eventually, I'd get too=20 distracted, and eventually even bored with trying. Now, however, = I'm=20 looking less for a spiritual state than just to let go into "what = is." =20 It's tricky, because "let go into 'what is'" sounds like "relax, feel = connected,=20 be holy"-but my point is the opposite: that it's really just letting go = into=20 what is, and being deeply, profoundly okay with that.

If you've = not=20 experienced any of these states and progressions, that must sound rather = banal. But imagine having the sense of okay-ness that you have = when you're=20 snuggling with your lover-just now, snuggling in with the "present=20 moment." Not the love, necessarily (though that too may arise), = but just=20 the... yes. This is it. This really is it. This is = God, this=20 is the point, this emptiness that underlies all of my transitory states = of=20 mind... yep, this is it.

The result need not be an aching sense = of=20 holiness, or the belief that you can fly. (Though those = too...) It=20 is mostly a negative capacity rather than a positive one: it's mostly in = the=20 letting go, the relaxing, the un-distracting, the remembering. = Poke your=20 head up out of the huge flock of self-absorbed sheep that all of us = collectively=20 are-oh yeah, you're awake. Consciousness. Emptiness. = Even=20 "God," if you like, though that term is inevitably freighted with = associations=20 and expectations. My God is named "is." So, for me, it's = sometimes=20 easiest to just say "is it is?" Which... it usually = is.

This=20 is the process of making states so transparent that they slowly turn = into=20 stages. What we're looking for, "it", the goal, enlightenment, = whatever=20 grows increasingly thin. The "trigger" is always available. = What=20 you're looking for is always available-indeed, it's just your ordinary=20 awareness, if you can believe that. Remember: if it hasn't always = been=20 here, it isn't the unconditioned. And it is, in my experience, = slow,=20 gradual, and filled with fits and starts. But it does seem to be=20 working. "To see the light in everyone and every thing," Surya Das = told=20 me. Yes-and not radiant, shining, first-jhana light-but just the = ordinary=20 light that is, all the time. Nothing special-and yet, with = enough=20 practice, just as special as that which is most special. Sorry if = that=20 seems paradoxical. Walk the walk, you'll see what I mean.

So, at = first we=20 have mundane consciousness, the space of I-me-mine and work and the = rest. =20 Then, we have spiritual states, where those boundaries and demands are=20 relaxed. And then, we have some notion that the real goal is not = any=20 state, but what Wilber calls "the simple freedom of being." This = is rather=20 like negative theology in our own experience: not this, not that, not = this=20 thought, not that idea, not this ego, not that possession. Ayin = is=20 everywhere, but it has taken me, at least, a lot of work to be able to = refine=20 consciousness so much that I'm not mistaking it for a pleasant state of=20 mind.

And then, finally, there is the re-embrace of the = ordinary=20 itself-but, please, don't do this too fast. First, have the = states. =20 Then, refine them away. And then see that in every ordinary = moment,=20 lonely ones and lovely ones, there is the unity of form and emptiness, = nirvana=20 and samsara, yesh and ayin. Don't rush. But do move=20 forward.

Now, in order to enable this negative capacity, of = seeing God=20 without "God", there are at least four necessary ongoing factors. = First is=20 a regular spiritual practice: meditation, yoga, prayer, reflection, that = sort of=20 thing. You've just got to take out the garbage, every day. = You have=20 to interrupt the torrents of thought, to-do lists, plans, senses of = self, and so=20 on, because otherwise "letting go" just won't take. A lot of = times, when I=20 ask "is it is?" I get a response of "yes, but so what?" = This is a=20 good sign that I'm identifying with factors in my mind, such as = restlessness or=20 unhappiness. It's a good sign to take a nice, deep breath and try = to=20 remember that "I" am not restless; restlessness has just arisen. = There is=20 no "I." Okay, whew. Regular spiritual practice maintains the = base=20 level of presence of mind necessary to do that.

Second, you've = got to=20 extend the spiritual practice beyond the mat, beyond the mind, and into=20 action. If it's all about you, you're going to get too wrapped up = in your=20 feelings, your journey, your states, your shit. Take some time out = of your=20 head and go work in a soup kitchen. Council somebody who needs = help. =20 Volunteer for a cause you believe in. Whatever it is, there has to = be some=20 measure of spiritual practice in the world-not just to heal the world, = but to=20 ensure that spirituality doesn't dead-end in you.

3D""=20 Third, I think-and some would disagree here-that in = addition to=20 awakening, there needs to be some kind of "purification of mind," to use = the=20 Buddhist term. Theoretically, one can be a fully awakened, = enlightened=20 human being and still be a total schmuck. Enlightenment does not = have to=20 do with being a nice person; it's about seeing through the veil of = illusion,=20 knowing all things to be totally conditioned and transitory and thus=20 unclingable. What's left depends on how you see the world-it could = be God,=20 or Emptiness, or liberation, could be All Mind, or No Mind; doesn't = really=20 matter, the point is what it isn't, which is any thing. = Now, if=20 that's true, it doesn't much matter whether what's in the mind is peace = and=20 love, or sexual desire, or simple obnoxiousness. It's all God,=20 right? This is how many clearly enlightened people still have=20 psychological baggage and other hangups. For me-and again, not = everyone=20 would agree-I think there's still a lot of delusion that needs to be = cleared up=20 in order for it not to eventually block clear seeing. I still get = very,=20 very tied up in the illusion of "I", in large part because of the way = neuroses=20 from my childhood still continue to operate. They are very hard to = see=20 through sometimes. So, for me at least, the ongoing process of = cultivating=20 patience, equanimity, lovingkindness, and other illusory, transitory = qualities=20 remains part and parcel of the overall spiritual project, if only so I = don't get=20 jammed.

Finally, I think you've got to take a good look at your = life, and=20 see if it is really conducive to taking the "next step." Maybe it = just=20 isn't. Maybe you're at a stage in your life where you're working = really=20 hard and building something, and so you need to stay with cultivating = really=20 juicy states once a week. No harm in that. Or maybe you're = raising a=20 family, and the stress is just too much for subtlety. This is why = monks=20 are monks, and not householders. In my own life, I've shed three = entire=20 careers in the last two years, and am working much less-for me, = anyway. =20 I've chosen to take large chunks of time out and focus on contemplative=20 work. I've stopped fighting with Jews about how their religion = should be,=20 and I've cut back on my political writing and work. And I've = stopped=20 living in New York City.   These steps have often been = painful; I'm a=20 greed type, and I want it all. But I want one thing more, and that = thing=20 requires quiet of mind and body.

So, that's what I've = learned. It=20 is possible and necessary to move beyond spiritual states, but it takes = work,=20 the right conditions, and ongoing maintenance. And to repeat, I am = not=20 claiming to have completed this work, or attained anything.   = As a=20 final aside, if I were really beyond identifying with my "ego," I = probably=20 wouldn't be writing at all; the more awake I become, the less I am = interested in=20 teaching or writing, and even less in impressing anyone by doing = so. =20 Compassion still motivates me somewhat, but humility counters it: do I = really=20 think I am so wise, or that I am saying something that can't be found=20 elsewhere? I can imagine many realized beings who see no possible = purpose=20 in doing anything or going anywhere except Being itself, except perhaps = in=20 direct, compassion-motivated helping of others. So, if you are = reading any=20 book or essay, including this one, you must be getting something less = than the=20 totally genuine article. Beware of anyone who writes or = teaches.

At=20 this point in a Zeek essay, I often try to conclude with a poetic image, = or a=20 recollection of a spiritual moment at which all the veils dropped away = and the=20 nakedness of the Divine was so radiant and cleansing. Having just = finished=20 a jhanas retreat, I have a big satchel of such moments. But the = point of=20 Zen poetry and ritual, as I understand it, is to get beyond all = that. =20 Whatever it is you're looking at now-that's the scenery for your=20 enlightenment. So I'd rather not write any conclusion at = all.

Get=20 it? :-)

All images by artist Judith Joseph

2 comments | leave=20 a comment

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breadbaker

05/22/09 5:56 = pm

Comments: 1

Friends: = 0

=20

good=20 analysis Jay

But it only makes sense on retreat....and maybe a few days = afterwards. =20

danielbu

05/26/09 5:47 = pm

Comments: 5

Friends: = 0

=20

Ok,=20 but what's Jewish about it?

Yes. What he said. But after this very prolix and detailed = description, my=20 question is - what's Jewish about it? What is your Jewish point here? = Why is=20 this a blog post/article entitled "rethinking Jewish spirituality" and = not=20 "thoughts about coming down after retreat" ?

You make some very important points, but the connection to Jewish = seems to be=20 missing - like the calendar, maybe? Which has been called "the Jewish=20 catechism"? The cyclical nature of Jewish time, so that after all these = years,=20 when the bar mitzvah portion comes around again, I suddenly see a = pattern that=20 cuts across the spiral of my life from when I was a dorky 13 year old = until=20 middle age? Or when I sit at the seder table with my own kids I suddenly = see=20 every seder table back to when I was an infant?

I think the issue is exactly "states" - Jewish is not about = "states"=20 but about "processes" or about "flow" - about the wheels of lifecycle = and=20 year/calendar. You begin to touch on that, but you don't make your point = clear.=20 Like all those Chasidic masters who seem to not conclude their sermons, = but end=20 "hamevin yavin" or "haven zot".

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Rethinking Jewish Spirituality

by Jay = Michaelson, May=20 20, 2009

breadbaker

danielbu